what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize