i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
