I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Fuck me I smell like cheese
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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