It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
