Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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