What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
