it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
