she was so not down for the gang bang
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
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My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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