Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
