As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
