super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
