can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
