just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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