i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
There are leaves in my underwear?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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