CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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