Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize