I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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