Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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