He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize