And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
