do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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