3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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