Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
