HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
