she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The struggles of a small town man whore
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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