wakey wakey hands off snakey
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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