I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
