you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
