You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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