she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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