Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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