no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
