We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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