I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
