if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize