A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
