I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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