when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
