She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
