First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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