he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
