I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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