Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
