Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
