jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the day after is always just damage control
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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