I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
