STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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