You really coming over, don't trick.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
