glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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