he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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