So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
