his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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