You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize