I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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