he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
me + whiskey = a bad person
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
