This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
