he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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