You're so nebulous sometimes
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
