i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Someone shit on the floor
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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