yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
