If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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