Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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