the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
