we have officially lost it.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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