I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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