I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
