well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize