I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
