kristin has been a bad kristin
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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