my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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